Assassin Stats
Hours spent unsuccessfully stalking/staking out, to date: 11
Hours spent practicing with my nerf blowgun: 1.5 (approximate)
Hours spent pretending to stalk Alan Starzinski: 2.25
Days per week that I coach, practice, perform, take class or go to shows in the Chelsea Improv Zone: 6
Times I’ve ditched my assassin: 3*
*I might have imagined all three of these times.
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